Does God Love Us Because of Us, or in Spite of Us?

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son…

John 3:16. It’s the most famous verse in the Bible. When we read this we typically envision a God who has a love for us even though we as humans are not worthy of his love. Just for grins I asked the Bing AI chatbot this question:

John 3:16 says God so loved us he gave his only begotten son. Does God love us because we are worthy of his love or in spite of humans being unworthy of God’s love?

Part of its answer was this:

God’s love is unconditional and sacrificial. He loves us deeply, regardless of our worthiness or unworthiness. His love is not based on our merit but on His character.

I asked the same question of Ask AI Chat. Here’s the full answer:

The interpretation of John 3:16 can vary among different Christian traditions and individuals. In Christian theology, it is often understood that God’s love for humanity is unconditional and not based on human worthiness or deserving. According to this perspective, God’s love is seen as a gift freely given to all people, regardless of their actions or worthiness. The idea is that God’s love is based on His nature of being loving and merciful, rather than on human merit. Therefore, the prevailing view in many Christian beliefs is that God loves humanity in spite of our shortcomings and sins, not because we are inherently worthy of His love. This understanding emphasizes the depth of God’s love and grace towards humanity.

To put it another way, the prevailing view is that God doesn’t see any good reason to love us, but he loves us anyhow, because He’s like that. But what if it’s both? What if God loves us because he is love – AND – we as humans have intrinsic worth and we are actually deserving of his love? This paradigm shift in how we believe God sees us humans will have profound influences in our walk with God as individuals, and our message to the world regarding the salvation of man. And it’s easy to teach from scriptures. First, let’s look at what this view will do for our Christian faith individually.

What if God Loves Us Not Only Because He is Love but Also Because We Actually Deserve His Love?

If we believe that God loves us because of our intrinsic worth, it can have profound implications for our self-perception, relationships with others, and our spiritual journey. This perspective can inspire a sense of value, acceptance, empowerment, and deepened connection with God based on the belief that His love for us is rooted in our inherent worth as His beloved creations. There are profound and practical implications of understanding that God loves us because of our intrinsic worth, without the need for us to earn His love. Let’s look at some: Inherent Value: Believing that God loves us because of our intrinsic worth would emphasize the inherent value and dignity of every individual. This understanding could lead to a greater sense of self-worth and acceptance, knowing that we are loved simply for being who we are. Unconditional Acceptance: Recognizing our intrinsic worth in the eyes of God could foster a sense of unconditional acceptance and belonging. This understanding may promote compassion, empathy, and inclusivity towards others, as we acknowledge the inherent value of all individuals. Self-Acceptance: Understanding that God loves us because of our intrinsic worth could lead to greater self-acceptance and self-compassion. This perspective may help individuals to embrace their imperfections and shortcomings with grace, knowing that their value is not dependent on external achievements or qualities. Empowerment: Believing in our intrinsic worth in the eyes of God can empower individuals to live authentically and pursue their true purpose and calling. This understanding may provide a sense of confidence and assurance, knowing that they are loved and valued unconditionally by a higher power. Relationship with God: Recognizing our intrinsic worth in God’s eyes could deepen our spiritual connection and relationship with God. This understanding may foster a sense of intimacy and trust in our relationship with God, knowing that His love for us is unwavering like parents who are just nuts about their kids. Those are some good incentives for seeing God as a creator who really likes what He has created. It seems like such good spiritual sense. But why is such a proposition a bit radical for the Christianity of today?

Making God Better by Making Man Worse

One reason for the prevailing view in much of Christianity that God loves humanity in spite of our shortcomings and sins and not because we are inherently worthy of His love is because it is thought that this understanding emphasizes the depth of God’s love and grace towards humanity. It’s as if God appears to have more love for us if he is holding his nose because of the stench, so to speak. That “stench” can be expressed in many different ways, including a few choice proof-texts, taken out of context, such as:

All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6) There are none righteous. No, not one. (Romans 3:10)

In another article I have explained why Romans 3:10 should not be applied to all of humanity as a Universal Condemnation Because Human. Modern Christianity tries hard to make man worse in order to make God’s love greater, but it’s not necessary and it’s not scriptural. We have plenty of scriptural warrant to consider man good enough in God’s eyes to be loved for how we are. Here are some.

We Have Intrinsic Value Because God Made Us

Our Western system of laws that guarantee basic human rights flows from the understanding that man was made in God’s image, per Genesis 1:26, which says:

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness…”

This verse speaks of our intuitive belief that every man has at least some worth, no matter how despicable he may be. Our country’s forefathers had this caveat to Genesis 1:26 and that is that not all humans are included in “made in God’s image”. Today, we pride ourselves for including African Americans in “made in God’s image.” Of course it took our country many years to recognize that African Americans were people too with the same basic God-given rights as the rest of us, but we did get there eventually. We also pride ourselves on including a fetus in “made in God’s image.” This verse is quoted often in the Pro-Life Movement. As a nation we have let go of that caveat that African Americans are not included in “made in God’s image”. But there is this one caveat that Evangelicals have yet to let go. They say that after God made man in his image, “God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!,” but that doesn’t apply to humans born after the Fall. Except for a fetus or an infant perhaps. It is hard to find any fault there, after all, yet to play it safe the Roman Catholic Church will rush a newborn to the baptismal font so they can receive the grace of the church for salvation. Today, according to modern Christianity, both Catholic and Protestant, we have changed Genesis 1:31 to read, “God looks over all he had made, and he sees that it is not very good at all!” Modern Christianity says every person needs a Savior. Nobody, by his own goodness, is good enough for God. Everyone sins, and so no one is worthy to be accepted into everlasting life with God. That’s another way of saying God made us, but because of us, God doesn’t like us. But because of God, God still loves us. He loves us enough to provide us a way out of this predicament. Why is it a predicament? Because nobody, I do mean NOBODY, except for the one person who had advantage, has been able to make it through much of life without sin. And sinlessness is what’s necessary to be good enough for a holy God to allow us to join him in eternal glory after we die. For much of Christianity it is the former, thinking God loves us in spite of a lack of worth mankind has in God’s eyes. This is expressed in the fact that Intuitively we believe there must be worth in man, because, after all, God made us. No one needs a Bible to tell us that. But for those who don’t trust their own intuition as being God-inspired we can rely on David’s God-inspired intuition:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Ps. 139:14)

In the Pro-Life Movement we have used this verse to say that a fetus is a person, but to me it says that a person is made by God and because of that is wonderful. But when it comes to matters of eternal salvation, and unless we are talking about infants who are seen as pure and innocent, many believe God takes a dim view of the work of his hands. So much so that every person needs a Savior in order to be acceptable to God for entrance into His eternal dwelling. And will dig up scriptures to justify such a dim view of mankind.

Man’s Intrinsic Value – Because Love

In this post I would like to give a reason to believe in the intrinsic value of man, but instead of that worth based on an intrinsic value in man’s God-given nature I want to focus on God’s nature. This should be a cornerstone truth from which to derive a biblical anthropology, or doctrine of man. In other posts I have set out to show what the scriptures plainly declare regarding every man’s standing before God and explain some of the complexities that have led millions to come to a different conclusion. In this post I would like to demonstrate how the idea of man not having intrinsic worth to God is contrary to what must be the most popular Bible verse of all time: John 3:16.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

God gave us his Son, because of his love for people, good, bad, or otherwise. The Greek word for love in this verse is agape which has as its root meaning “value”. For example, the priests had value for the chief seats in the synagogue because sitting there made them feel important. They wanted to sit there because there was value to them in doing so. The scriptures describe them as having agape, i.e. value, for those places of honor.

What Agape Love Is

Agape is defined by A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (BDAG) as this:

“to have a warm regard for and interest in another; to have high esteem for or satisfaction with something, cherish, have affection for, love, take pleasure in.”

With that understanding of agape, we can read John 3:16 this way:

“For God had so much value for man that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Lets finish our thought on the intrinsic value of man by asking this question: Does God having so much value for man that he would sacrifice his one and only Son for us square with a doctrine of man in which this is said about every man that has ever lived?:

“How then can a man be righteous before God? How can one born of woman be pure? If even the moon is not bright and the stars are not pure in his eyes, how much less man, who is but a maggot– a son of man, who is only a worm!” (Job 25:4-6)

Obviously Job’s Comforter didn’t have much regard for the nature of man, assuming he even meant this to be taken literally, but that doesn’t mean God feels the same way. All forms of the Doctrine of Original Sin, particularly the Calvinistic doctrine of Total Depravity, seek to make man unacceptable to God based on their intrinsic human nature. They attempt to say man has no merit in and of himself and that he can do nothing in and of himself to merit a good standing at the Judgement. God loves humans, because they are humans. He has enough esteem for even the worst human being that if he were the only human left on the planet God would sacrifice his Son to reach him. This really shouldn’t come as a surprise since we are the work of his hands, that God has agape love for humans, a love which sees humans as having great value. That said, God also hates the worst of humans and isn’t going to grant them immortality and everlasting life. God loves and hates the worst humans at the same time? How is that even possible?

The Opposite of Agape Love is Selfishness, Not Hate

God can love and hate a wicked person because agape love and hate are not opposites. The opposite to agape love is not hate, it’s extreme selfishness. We know this because the scriptures explain supreme agape as extreme selflessness in this verse:

Greater love (agape) has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (Jn. 15:13)

If the greatest agape love is selflessness, to sacrifice one’s own well-being to the point of torture and death for the object of that love, then the opposite of agape love is extreme selfishness to the point of harming others for one’s own benefit. This is why agape love and wickedness are often contrasted in scriptures, because a wicked person is typically one who does harm to others as his “normal” way of life. Take Adolph Hitler, for example. Hitler held no value for members of his society who might not be contributing members to his Aryan Race so sought to harm them through imprisonment and death. Hitler is the prototypical wicked person whose life was marked by harm to others and therefor did the opposite of “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Eternal Conscious Torment is Not Love

One of the hardest Christian doctrines to accept for thinking people is the idea that the God of love would create a place of eternal torment for anyone and send anyone there for any reason. Not only is it hard for Christians to grapple with but it has caused many would-be believers to conclude that Christians are a few fries short of a Happy Meal or about as bright as Alaska in December. Frankly, I don’t blame them. It’s one thing if our scriptures lead us to this conclusion unequivocally but after doing my research I concluded the biblical basis for ECT just isn’t there. It’s beyond the scope of this post to provide a comprehensive reason why the scriptures don’t teach this doctrine and what it does teach instead but for now I’d like to mention this: the meaning of agape love is to do what is in the best interest for the one who is loved. Jesus manifest this love to the world by sacrificing himself so those who would believe would not perish. God manifest his love for the world by sacrificing his only-begotten Son for the same purpose. They both did it for the best interest of people. Is there any way to conceive of Eternal Conscious Torment being in the best interest of any who end up there? God isn’t selfish, because God is love, but even if God were selfish there would be no benefit to God, so who benefits from people suffering forever? Whenever I bring this issue up with the few Christians who still believe in it I never get an admission that ETC is contrary to the love of God. What I get instead is, “God is also holy and just. We can’t ignore that. ETC is because of God’s holiness and justice.” Then I get the predictable scolding for thinking I can understand God, even though the one saying this thinks they understand God well enough to say what God does with those who don’t make the cut for eternal life. If we were to start with a biblical theology of justice we would never conclude that ETC is justice. In fact, we would conclude that it is one hundred and eighty degrees opposite to what the bible does tell us about justice. “Well Kirby, God’s justice is different than man’s justice.” It’s right about here in a conversation when I want to tear my hair out. But instead I have devoted another post to this whole issue of biblical justice and see if we can’t view God in a way that doesn’t make God out to be a sadistic monster.

God Actually Likes the Humans in the Family of God

“Alright Kirby, God may love us in that he wants the best for us but he doesn’t actually like us. He looks at us like we look at worms. He’s that much greater than us.” I’m not sure why people try so hard to make God into someone who doesn’t like humans but some do so I think it would be good to remind ourselves that God actually likes humans. Previously I quoted “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,” which the Pro-Life movement has rightfully seen as an affirmation of the value of humans to God from even before birth. When we are being formed in the womb, we are wonderfully made and the result is something wonderful. We are something in which God takes much pride, much like we take pride in our own kids. If they don’t become Justin Bieber fans, that is. God absolutely does not look at us the way we look at worms. There was someone in the Old Testament, one of Job’s Comforters, who thought of himself as a worm, but that’s his problem, not God’s. He did not have God’s heart for humanity. There is one point in the history of mankind when it might be possible to say God did not like what he created, that he didn’t like them enough to do anything good for them. That would be the Flood of Noah where God said, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them.” (Gen. 6:13) At another time God said he wouldn’t destroy the people because he found good in them. That was when God said through Isaiah, “This is what the LORD says: ‘As when juice is still found in a cluster of grapes and men say, ‘Don’t destroy it, there is yet some good in it,’ so will I do on behalf of my servants; I will not destroy them all.'” So God did not find enough good in society before the flood to not destroy it. Alright, but that was then. This is now. The fact we are all still here today is a testimony to how much good God sees in us all.

God Loves His Family

God’s heart for humanity is much like our heart for our own kids. That should come as no surprise knowing that we are made in God’s image. When we bring a child into the world we show that child off with great pride. I have had the privilege of doing that five times with my wonderful wife. When they grow older and begin to sin we still take great pride in our kids, even when they exasperate us with their immaturity.  And I don’t mean when a two year old is being selfish. That’s not sin because that’s how God designed them to be.  It’s only if one of our kids turns out really bad, does abnormally egregious sins, that we stop introducing them to others with pride. Fortunately very few of us have to experience such a sad state of affairs. Even if we are raising the proverbial Strong-Willed Child who requires an extra dose of patience to handle we still like our kids. Quite a bit. How much more does God – who never gets tired or worn down from being our Father – like his kids? And by his kids I mean all humans because according to Acts 17:28 all humans are God’s children. Followers of Jesus have been adopted into a spiritual family of God that is different than the family of the human race but that doesn’t negate the fact that all humans are God’s children.  We shouldn’t try to deny any familial relationship God has with all of his humans as many seem to want to do. Doing so moves us away from understanding the heart of God, not closer. This passage itself affirms that God, “gives all men life and breath and everything else,” established where the races and ethnic groups would live, and then says why he did this:

“God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:27)

To me that speaks of a familial relationship when people do find God, a relationship between God and man that goes far beyond the mere fact he created all men. We are often told that the message of Adam and Eve’s fall is that any and all sin separates man from God, and so all men need God to fix that problem. Never mind the fact God still walked and talked with them in the Garden after they sinned. Paul certainly doesn’t buy that conclusion about the Fall of Man or he wouldn’t be talking about this familial relationship with God that had been available to all men everywhere and which stood in stark contrast to the Corinthians who set up altars to The Unknown God of their own making in Acts 17. Jesus gave a very pointed reminder of the heart of God for all humans when he said:

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.” (Mat. 18:3-5)

If God didn’t actually like all the children of the world you can be sure Jesus wouldn’t be telling people to become like them. It wasn’t just because children are humble that they are set up as an example, he took things further to say that how you treat all children is how you will be seen as treating him, just like he had said at another time that how you treat the poor and helpless is how you will be seen as treating him. Jesus identifies thoroughly with the poor, the helpless, and children, but with the children we must become like them. Fortunately for us he only told one person he had to become poor in order to enter the Kingdom of God. John 3:16 does not tell us that God doesn’t like people, sees no value in anyone apart from faith, or is disgusted with his creation.  Nor is it telling us that God loves everyone enough to offer a way for God to forgive all of us humans for who God made us to be. John 3:16 is telling us that God actually thinks highly of all mankind. What the rest of scriptures confirm is that God actually likes human beings and especially appreciates all the ones who live righteously. John 3:16 tells us that God sees intrinsic value in the best of his creation and wants the best for all people, even the worst of us. That’s why he sent his Son to die for us. John 3:16 was written specifically for the unrighteous and wicked, expressing God’s heart for them which is that he wants the best for them, because he thinks that highly of them, not in spite of a negative assessment of them in particular or of mankind in general. God’s love and appreciation for mankind, even the worst of us, is so great he was willing to sacrifice his own Son to lead us all into a faith walk with him whereby we become more Christlike. That’s the God-loves-us message of the Cross. You might also be interested in: Introduction to Salvation by Being Good There Are None Righteous – Except For Everyone Who Is God Really is Just – Justice Demands Forgiveness